Sarcastic 8-Ball
The Magic 8-Ball with a real attitude. Ask anything. The universe has notes. Same question always returns the same answer, so you can show your friends.
ASK A QUESTION
Deterministic, not magic. Same question + same input always returns the same answer (FNV-1a hash). 84 hand-written verdicts ranging from "absolutely" to "you should be ashamed for asking."